Monday, 9 March 2009

Mammary Monday...

Crisp, sun soaked mornings are becoming the norm in London around this time of year. Clear blue skies wrap our lives in a approving, knowing nod from Mother Nature as she coo's, "Spring is here my dear, and summer rides a close distance behind, chasing her tail with a bikini thong clenched tightly in her teeth."

This image of a thong in one's teeth reminded me of an interesting concept introduced to me by my brother from another mother Tombstone Pete. Much like Christmas, a Birthday or Halloween this occasion comes round but once a year. This is a glorious time when one feels all possibilities are attainable, magically rewarding of this icy winter we just endured - and that time of year my friends is now.

There is no one set date for Mammary Monday, this occasion is too fabled, too illusive and poetic to assign a clumsy date to it, this transcends all of that.

Here we go.

The fair maidens of ol' foggy London town have been wrapped up tightly in their winter woollies, thermals, doubled up socks. Some (Sweetie) even wrap their feet in plastic bags to avoid the moisture. This, you can imagine has left EVERYTHING to the imagination of us starving men. Granted, we have exquisite powers of imagination, turning anything from a frayed woolen glove to the unraveling joins of a clumsy bra strap in 1 second flat...

So let's observe the train of thought of the London ladies when they look out their windows to notice the scene I described above.

- Covered up... Come now you have more to offer than that! -

LL: "Hmm, doesn't look to cold out there - no need for that scarf... I've been dying to wear that low cut blouse I got on sale at Top Shop in January... Oh let's give it a whirl!" (very free spirited;)

It's like Mother Nature is actually a dude in drag, playing the ladies into giving us a beautiful Mammary Monday present! See this all happens over a weekend, it's like foreplay. Maybe a walk in the park induces a little body heat and the scarf comes off, the jumper too!... Then the next morning - Monday morning - a little voice chimes in her ear while gazing into her extensive wardrobe, "You didn't need that scarf yesterday, forget it and let's show a little skin today to welcome summer in!"


Funny things is, it's like that little voice is beamed all over London to all the ladies coz it all happens on that one magical Monday, more cleavage than the eye can absorb. But not all men are privy to Mammary Mondays. Those not in the know will sense that something is a miss, something is different, but you can't quite put you finger on it, until


- Like a ton of bricks -

Now you know.

I have my money on Monday the 16th March.

Look out...

1 comment:

  1. well.... it is the 16th - did it happen?? - were you right?? - i am just curious cause us in Durbs have it every day while all you guys seem to look for ward to it like its christmas....!! and that could be the reason why we haven't had little snippets of wisdom to day..?


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