Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Things Will Go Wrong



- Clifton 4th, Cape Town -


Before all of you in the cheap seats scream 'Murphy's Law', just shut up for a second.

Anyone who has given a presentation in a board room, or a webex training, or some sort of thing in front of people who are trying to make up their minds whether or not to spend their ill-valued currency on the company you work knows this feeling.

This morning my MD, BigShot, comes up to me...

BS: Mike, listen we have XYZ Agency coming in at 2pm and I'll need you to present and demo the entire front-end interface to them hmmm k? Great thanks! (with a click of the tongue, a wink and an index finger-extended gun shot motion).
Me: No problem Sir!

Because, really it isn't a problem. What the problem is is when the clients walk in, all expecting this major production, and Kippy here can't get the projector to project the laptop screen onto the wall. Once TechHead gets that right for me, what next? Oh that's right, NO INTERWEB CONNECTION... nada! No wireless or LAN!

By this time, the clients are impatiently wrapping their fingers on the huge oak conference table, refilling their glasses again and again with lukewarm office supply water. I'm sweating. BigShot is chatting nervously to them, buying time for me, his eyes buring holes in me as he reaches for any sort of talking point to keep them happy. TechHead finally replaces the LAN cable and the huge white projected square on the wall jumps to life... Saved... Thanks Techhead, legend!

See somethings like presentations will always go wrong like:

  • Spilling a drink on yourself in a bar or club. I don't know why people get irritated by it, it simply WILL happen at least once a night out.
  • When writing an email with an attachment, and you actually say in the email "please see in the attached document for..." or something to that effect... You simply will forget to attach the document when you finally get round to sending the email.
  • At least once in your life, you will forget the tickets to the gig or show... They will be sitting warm and cozy at home in your desk draw while you and your wife/girl friend wait with great anticipation in the queue at the venue when one of you will ask that fateful question, "Honey, have you got the......?" Ah shit...
  • Famous last words: "Ag I'm sure my battery will last, just call me and Ill let you know where we are..."
  • Tomorrow morning 8am I'm giving a webex training to some person in Singapore. I'm going to attempt, just to prove me right/wrong, to try and get to work at 7:50am sharp. Watch how my trains will be delayed...Just watch!
Ill let you know how it goes...

3 comments:

  1. if there exits such a luck-trading-god,
    i hope i trade your ominous late trains
    for my OWN, ACTUAL bad luck tmro(i suppose itll be v.dag nou) so u can get to that call
    i owe a happy-go-lucky-alcohol-induced-pleasurable WEEKday to you, so here it goes:
    i will tolerate: construction-worker wolf-whistles and puddle splashes for u.saying this now becos of how DRONK ek is, but fokkit
    i hope u have a better day than me tmro!
    g.luck
    ps- i am ONLY

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perhaps, Murphy's stupid law aside, your focus is in the wrong place...as all those motivational gurus say: You are what you think; thought manifests deed, and bla bla bla...hence my suggestion would be change the title of this blog...if you say THINGS WILL GO WRONG...well then, invariably they will ne? Um, that is if you believe in all that motivational drivel in the first place anyway ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. يجلس أحيانا [إي] صحيحة ويفكّر… وأخرى أوقات [إي] فقط يجلس… غير أنّ إمّا طريق, أنا دائما [بيسّ]. هو وجود سعيدة نحن نقود…

    And thats all i have to say about that...

    ReplyDelete

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