Friday, 27 February 2009

Email String

This little bit of banter went on yesterday, had me stitches...

Ms Tampon sent around an invite to a naked fun run being held in Durban next weekend - the saucy little thing. Anyway...

Ms Tampon: next sunday! Ill put that in my diary!

The Lawyer: was hoping you'd join me...shame, pity mikey won't be in town! :(

Ms Tampon: Ya, lucky his bro is a photographer hey, can send him footage ;-)


The Photographer: oh, ill definitely be proving my 'non-terrorist' status! - camera in hand to record the proof!!

ME: I need proof... thank you Photographer... I expect the ladies to be shakin everythANG!

The Lawyer: MICHAEL!

Ms Tampon: Mmm, we'll think about it, but what's in it for us???

Me: I didn't know you expected anything out of this.... Because this is obviously for my pleasure alone... That's really selfish of you guys... How about giving a little with no return?!disgraceful...

The Lawyer: i think as women, we often give...with no return!!

Ms Tampon: No such thing as a free lunch Mikey, you should know that...come now, surely a small return is in order, considering the amount of pleasure you'll be getting...?

ME: I don't hey, depends on how good you guys look without threads on... Ive seen one of you, and well.... Ms Tampon you aren't bad, the question is what sort fitness The Lawyer is currently enjoying... post festive season and all (hehe)

Ms Tampon: I'm not bad??? And you haven't seen me without threads (I'm sure I would recall that incident!)...oh, incidentally, I now gym 3x a week, so you can up the "not bad"...
As a reward for us shaking our stuff sans threads we expect you to appear in you lumo green Armani thong...although I don't know if I will be shaking my booty or falling down laughing after that, but hey, I'll pay for a good laugh ;-)

ME: Well then if you don't remember that one night we had together, when the earth stood still, your eyes fixed deeply on mine, and you swore that it would last forever... If you don't remember that, then you are just mean... its over, you can never have my body again Ms Tampon... Lawyer, you keen for seconds?

Ms Tampon: That was you in a drunken state, and as I recall, your eyes couldn't fix on any region above my neck...you WISH you'd had me honey, but keep dreaming, cos I'm THAT good!!!

The Lawyer: you're offering me Ms Tampon's seconds????? I think i've already had a decade! :)

ME: People, I'm above this cheap attempt to see me naked, I know you ladies and you will use any excuse to see this *points to buff chest, tanned abs, huge bulge in pants* so I'm not going to stoop to your level anymore... Ms Tampon, I am your wet dream... Stop fighting it, you are just hurting yourself. That is all...

The Lawyer: i've seen you naked!

Ms Tampon: Mikey, you know you wanna stoop to my level...just admit it already...now, tanned abs??? In the UK? I don't think so hey, unless of course you've been using a tan-bed...and that's just gay, in which case, the deal is off!!!....that said, let's talk about the alleged bulge referred to below....

ME: Lawyer can vouch for whatever info you want. Although I'm firm (that's right...) on the stance that if you are inclined toward the ladies, you don't get a free pass here, you've made your choice, enjoy your long and cockless rest of your life (harsh but fair). Indeed, Lawyer you have seen me naked... And by the sounds of your enthusiasm I deduce that you would probably like an encore... I don't blame you. That is all...

Ms Tampon: I think I sense a bit of jealousy that I get to have my cake & eat it...hehehe...neener neener...

ME: Hey, I think it's jealousy on your part to begin with - I've been eating 'cake' my whole life, you missed out on years of parties held in little cotton panties... So if anyone is jealous, it's you baby... Thank you, I'm here all week...

The Lawyer: hehehehe...party in little cotton panties! lol

Ms Tampon: Just an fyi here hon, I partied in little cotton panties way before ever embracing the bulge, so your point is moot.. Good thing you're there all week...probably take you that long to think up a witty response;-).

The Lawyer: lol...and still partying in cotton panties AND LOVING IT!!! :D

Ms Tampon: Hehehe, damn right sista...altho I quite enjoy the odd lacy bit too ;-)



Haha, I love these two...

Miss you guys :)

4 comments:

  1. she's an accountant...now a lawyer. pity you got that one wrong...kinda like messing up the punch line! :(

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  2. Hmm, I have to say Ms Tampon is a very dodgy nickname...couldn't you come up with something a little more...circumspect? Seriously, not much of a cover hey...

    And considering you've seen "the lawyer" naked you should know she's an accountant, not a lawyer...shame on you, wheren't you paying attention?!?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mr. Awesome...Its NOT Jon I promise...*crosses fingers*27 February 2009 at 13:47

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You are about as cryptic as a cryptic thingy that once won the coveted "Most Cryptic thingy" title on Cryptic Island...
    Glad to see I have been left out of the loop regarding this naked fun run...Mike-I feel sad and betrayed...deep deep down where sadness and betrayal is felt...

    Ms. Tampon...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! Classic! :)

    ReplyDelete

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