Saturday, 25 April 2009

MUDISLANDMIKE.COM IS UP!!!!

With a tear in my eye, I bid farewell to blogspot and ask you guys to head over to MUDISLANDMIKE.COM from now on if you want continue reading the droth I tend to leak out into the digital world. I can promise you an endless supply of aimless ramblings, tales of woe regarding my, and my friends' misadventures in this foul city that is London.

I tried my best to try and get the new site (working in Wordpress now, a far superior platform) to look as much like this one as possible until, I think it was 1am this morning I realized that this one didn't really look great anyway - so I thought I go in a different direction. I hope you like it, but if you have any suggestions as to what you might like changed email your thoughts to jzuma@anc.com because I couldn't give a shit.



- mudislandmike.com -

Oh, and please can whoever is linking to my page please update the URL, thanks - I need all the link love I can get:)

So go on, take my hand and lets enter this new chapter of our lives together... You got the lube right? You're gonna need it...

Last kiss blogspot, that's right kiss my ass...

Friday, 24 April 2009

Too Slow!

I know I've had my Fri-Five post for the day (I love that Rob sequence!) but I couldn't pass up this little sequence of the 'Up High, Down Low, Too Slow' trick. For those of you who don't know how to play this little gag on an unsuspecting (soon to be ex) mate, here is a step by step guide. Use with caution...

  • Step 1: Up High! This gives the victim a false sense of security...

- Bliss -


  • Step 2: Down Low! This is the classic setup, and the beginning of the end of your relationship with the victim.


- The event horizon -


  • Step 3: Too Slow! Be sure to pull your hand away in time, otherwise you will look like a jack ass.


- The beginning of the end -


  • Step 4: Gloat like the bastard you are!


- Bleak -


Now you know minions, now you know...


The High (Fri) - Five: Official Definition

This from Wikipedia:

A high five is a celebratory gesture made by two people, each raising one hand to slap the raised hand of the other — usually meant to communicate mutual satisfaction to spectators or to extend congratulations from one person to another. The arms are usually extended into the air to form the "high" part, and the five fingers of each hand meet, making the "five", thus the name. In addition to the standard high five, several variations exist in order to add uniqueness to the experience and to maximize satisfaction.

If one initiates a high five by raising a hand into the air and no one consummates the celebration by slapping the raised hand, the initiator is said to be "left hanging." This is considered to be a somewhat embarrassing faux pas. Initiating a high five excessively can also be considered a faux pas. Initiators will sometimes ask the other participant to "give me some skin". While the origin of the high five remains unknown, its existence could very well be centuries old, as evidenced in the referencing of the "salutation of slapping palms" in poet Daniel Kamenetz's 1850 play, Among Combatants.

A related gesture, the high ten involves raising two hands at the same time simultaneously to another person and then with both hands at the same time hitting the other persons hands. This is also commonly known as a "double" high five.





- Team work: Epic -


And the Low Five:

The low five, a variant of the high five, can be traced back as far as the 1920s. In the 1927 film The Jazz Singer, an ecstatic Al Jolson gives another character the low five upon hearing that he was asked to audition for a Broadway revue.



- The joys of a good Low Five transcends even mortality -


Have a great day minions!


Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Yay! First Human Clone on the way!

Just what we need, more people in this world! And I bet, when this becomes operational only the rich will be able to afford it and those people are usually the biggest assholes. So we will have big immortal assholes walking the Earth - my kinda place!


- "It's alive!" -

(click the pic to read the article)

(I tried my damnedest to embed the video here but there shit video player has no embed code, I even tried hard coding it into the page - whatever...)


Check please!


Monday, 20 April 2009

Summer rolls in...

Lets examine the progress shall we?


BEFORE: (2 February)


- Bleak -


AFTER: (19 April)



- Refreshing -

Coming along nicely, not that a cemetery could be anything else but bleak but it'll do.

Here's another one of my street...




- Leafy -

Have a nice evening minions,

Laterz!

You rang?

My weekly response to Being Brazen's Q&A...

Thought for the day: Will I ever see Manatee again after his iMac got delivered today?
Song of the Week: 'Show me the roof' by Herman Dune
Word of the Week: 'Recharge' the ol' batteries...
Drink of the moment: Coca Cola (follow link here)
Currently enjoying: A little alone time; writing music, painting and taking in Luc Besson films.
Currently annoyed by: Missing Furia Sound Festival in France, (Herman Dune, MONO, Mogwai - can't really complain as I will be at another festival I might have mentioned along the way...)
Goal of the week: To finally join the gym (Manatee has been nagging me for months now)
Last thing I bought: Puccino's cafe latte this morning on the Earlsfield platform, delicious...


HERMAN DUNE - WORLD OF WORKERS from ludomatic on Vimeo.

Leave your answers to these questions in the comments section minions, go on!

Love ya;)

Silent for a good reason...



- Enter at your own peril -


Ok, so that happened and I'm still reeling from shock. I've never seen a venue heave like I saw Brixton on Saturday night. The Prodigy came on stage at just after 12am, and left 2 face melting hours later. Now I've told you guys that I'm not into dance music AT ALL, but this was something else. It's been written somewhere that seeing The Prodigy live is listed on one of the 'things to do before you're dead' lists - well, I'm a believer.





- No words -


The action didn't stop there. After rolling out of the Academy at about 4:30am, Manatee and Edge boarded a bus full of chavs home. Mistake. In an effort to defend Edge's honour from the group of angry she-chavs, Manatee ended up receiving a black eye and masses amounts of cat sctraches that made him almost unrecognisable to me on the platform this morning.

Me: Why didn't you fight back dude?
Manatee: They were chicks dude... They were chicks...

More proof that even in the vortex of a drink-binge-post-Prodigy haze, Manatee still displays the behaviour that epitomizes that of an upstanding gentlemen. A hero, albeit bruised and battered, a hero nonetheless. Those injuries will heal, but Manatee's ethical stature remains unbreakable... (cue Manatee on a silver stead riding into the sunset).

Before you ask, I have a firm post-midnight-no-public-transport policy... So yes I was in a cab safe from London's social dregs, but after 12 hours of solid drinking I can tell you I was up for a little tussle, I would have had my mate's back... Would-a... I have the fire of a million Tibetians inside me, watch out!

Right, back to work...

PS: My laptop at home has '341 trogan horse' inside of it... amazes me sometimes how big a hard drive can be these days (ooooo, almost as bad as my Kermit Jagger joke). Hence the reason why I can't post in the evenings, trying to clean it up so please excuse me if there aren't many posts this week. Still love me?

Kisses ***

Friday, 17 April 2009

The Only Way Bafana Will Win The World Cup


- Ronaldo was rendered useless -


(thanks Manatee)

Happy Fri-Five-Day Minions!

As my head throbs due to the meanest night out in Soho last night, which included a visit to SUNSET STRIP - I'm still alive enough to wish you a Happy Fri-Five-Day - because I'm a giver, not a taker. Even after Being Brazen expressed her utter disdain for such establishments to me yesterday, I went anyways because well, I'm a real bad ass but you guys knew that already. What I love about nights like last night is that I get a random call from The Photographer this morning asking me if I remember calling him at 2am? Don't you think a phone call at 7am would be the last thing I would want if I was making calls at 2am? How about a little empathy for fuck's sake?!



- A spiritual moment -


Bunny tells me I 'have' to meet her out in Soho tonight for a drink with her colleagues... Death has become me.

Have a great day!

PS: The Prodigy at Brixton Academy tomorrow!!!

Thursday, 16 April 2009

My First Poll Is Up!... (oh grow up please!)

Hey guys,

Following in the footsteps of my good friend Being Brazen, I've decided to put a poll up for you guys to vote on (shakes head and smirks)... Look over there... To the right, yes that's it you can't miss it...



- That'll do just fine thank you -


So what do you think I prefer? Tick the box and vote - let's hear it! Poll lasts til next week, nothing new to me really...

On your knee's please...

5 Things I Want Before 2010

It's important to have goals minions, and I've been thinking long and hard over the last 10 minutes while I wrote this piece of tosh for you as to what I wanted from 2009... These are mine, along with the ever standing global goal of making love to each and every one of you - these are the ones that I consider to be difficult to attain...

  • Mad Surf Skills: Bunny has been mentioning the idea of heading to some place close and awesome to sharpen up our surfing abilities, or if you're like me, complete lack of ability. I keep getting the 'But you were born in Cape Town Mike, grew up in Durban, how can you not be a surfer?' Well thanks to boarding school, and a father who made my other two brothers and me wear life jackets whenever we set foot on sand (together with matching speedos!) I didn't have a hope in hell! Bring on the Spain trip!


- Not completely off the cards -


  • New Sunnies for Summer: I lost my loyal Oakleys in Cape Town just before returning to Mud Island in December and I've never been the same since, well not like I needed them during the snowy winter. So I'm on the look out for some thing that's a little different, a little edgey but still wearable. Oakley's are so 'oke', chest bumping Billie's type Durban rugger bugger vibe now, so I'm over them. I'm thinking silver aviators baby! Manatee had a pair a while back but I think he lost them in Brazil, they really could be anywhere so I'm looking to revive them! But Ill deny it to my grave that I got the idea from him, deny deny!


- Sex on fire! -


  • Vinyl player: Nothing says 'class' and 'awesome' quite like me with a vinyl spinner in my room. Can you imagine the look on the ladies' face when I whip out a sexy black Barry White record, blow off the dust all seductive like with a single breath and a raised eye brow? Business time indeed! The ladies will be queuing and Ill have to get that revolving door that I've been contemplating getting installed!

- Glorious -


  • A plane trip home in October: I've just been in invited to an old mate's wedding in October in Port Elizabeth - my old varsity hunting ground. It also happens to land on the same day as my birthday (and my nephew's - we share it, yes he is awesome too!) and so I'm contemplating heading back for this date. Although it is a lot of money to be heading back and forth, but we will be reviewing this possibilty very closely... (watch now I'm going to get flooded with emails and calls).
  • Angelina Jolie: Tsk tsk Brad, way to leave the door open you putz...



- What's known as a 'window of opportunity' -


So what's on your list? Let's hear it!

Peace out my little minions

kisses ***



Tuesday, 14 April 2009

I have my Nine Inch Nails Tickets... Do you?

Makes me laugh (quiet chuckle)

Quote from NME.co.uk

"Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction will play two live UK dates together in July... Tickets for the gigs go on sale on Friday (April 17) at 9am (BST)."

Ho hum, actually tickets are on sale on nin.com right now - and Manatee and I already have ours! 2 sparkly tickets to see Messieurs Reznor, Finck, Meldal Johnson and Rubin collectively known as... well you get the idea...


- Trent - a pensive moment in the studio -


I didn't want to mention the availability of tickets to you all before the time (5pm GMT) today because, well I'm a dick like that... I think if you hurry over now you may still get a pair (limited to 2 per person)...

Didn't I tell you I was going to see NIN before they broke up at the end of the year? I think I did here AND here... You guys should know me by now... Here's a little taste...


NIN: Wish live with The Dillinger Escape Plan - Perth, 3.02.09 [HD] from Nine Inch Nails on Vimeo.


Oh, and don't get me started about this coming Saturday's gig at Brixton - The Prodigy! Album review to come

Hiatus Lazimatus

My word that was a well deserved break for yours truly. As you can probably imagine I was way too busy to post a single vowel since Thursday - well the opposite is true. I did nothing. like nothing... seriously, for four days I did

NOTHING


And it couldn't have been more blissful. See, the Earlsfield train station was closed the entire weekend from Friday through to Monday so I didn't even leave E-Field, let alone my pajamas. And before you pipe up with 'Replacement Bus' this and that - excuse me, I don't do 'replacement' nothing, public transport is degrading enough and now you expect me to use second rate shit? You gotta another thing coming buddy.

So I had the whole house to myself because The Others took a trip to Cotswold (without me - these are the pleasant souls who 'forget' to invite me to the house braais so I have to get invited by the guests! Ha, classic!). So I was in my element to say the least.

The only time I actually ventured out of The Palace and into E-Field central was to attend the Saturday afternoon 'Lego Lamb' feast hosted magnificently by Edge and Manatee, where we proceeded to play drinking games all afternoon and then ended up at The, you guessed it, Puzzle. Edge was firmly in 'Edge Territory' as the two hours we spent jamming on the dance floor to the house band didn't stick at all in her shaky memory. Rumour has it there was a passionate debate about the 'New Kings of Leon Sound' versus 'The Old Kings of Leon Sound' between the four of us (Bunny included) - I can't even remember which side of the fence I was on...

Oh, I lie - I didn't do absolutely nothing, I started on a new canvas (really big one, 40' x 30'... [Sighs] grow up please guys!). Not sure where I'm going with it but my wall needs some colour so we're just winging it for now. Also spent a nice Monday afternoon in the beer garden at The Leather Bottle, the sun was out and they were cooking up some of the biggest, most awesome burgers this side of... um, Garratt Lane.

Hangover Status: Dissapating...

So that's my whole weekend, literally.

How was yours? Oh wait, I couldn't care less...

Right, let's revert back to how awesome I'm making your life experience right now...


- Tate Modern: Psychedelic -


And as usual I didn't take any photo's of the weekend so I have to dig deep into the archives for something, anything! And this is definitely anything. Phi took this of the back of my head at the Tate Modern. That's me, in the centre. Usually you would have to pay me a lot of money to take a photo of the back of my head, but for you guys, this time it's on me...

I love you all for all the wrong reasons - you make me filthy, but in a beautiful way. See the condundrum you force me into?

A little Wiki never hurt anyone...

Conundrum: a riddle whose answer is or involves a pun or an intricate and difficult problem

Right, now I must leave...



Thursday, 9 April 2009

Eagles = Epic

What a nice little evening we had last night. Pre drinks at the Proud Gallery where we then dined at the Camden Colonel (aka KFC) and then hit the Forum for some monstrous rock and rolling!

The Eagles of Death Metal were on top form and I'm very glad Edge got me the ticket, ta ra to you Edge!



- Edge and Manatee await the imminent arrival of... -



- The sexiest man in rock & roll, Jesse 'Boots Electric' Hughes -

We were all so taken by the performance that we even risked life and limb in the mosh pit during the encore... Edge disappeared for a few moments during this time, Manatee and I are pretty sure she was right down in front showing Jesse a little bit of flange, but she denies it out right...

Fantastic!

Long weekend my little minions, and The MD has agreed to let us off at 4pm today, bonus!

Chat a little later - I love you all, but I secretly would love to be the lining on Jesse Hughes' leathers... What a hero!

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Digg Dialogg: Trent Reznor

Probably the best interview I've ever seen. If you're like me and have a spare 40 minutes on the web to watch the whole thing you will be very glad you did. Trent, or Mr Nine Inch Nails to you, talks frankly about everything from music distribution models, Quake and even Scientology...

Check it out!



(click the pic to view the vid)


Naked Female Bodypaint Football

Ok, so I don't usually post this sort of thing here on MudIsland Mike but as a member of the male side of the species I feel obliged...

Ah who cares about an intro just check these hot women playing beach football in nothing but a thong and body paint... Life really doesn't get better than this...



- Pre game nerves... -



- Yip, you guys will do just fine -



- Hope you ladies warmed up before hand -



- Captains exchange pleasantries, nothing wrong with that -




- Team spirit essential in a competitive environment -



- Press conferences were an informal affair -



- And the game gets under way -





- Photographer was getting creative here (my favourite by the way) -




- A little rough and tumble is part of the game -




- Petr Cech she is not -



- The final whistle was blown -



- To the victors go the spoils -



- It's important to stay hydrated -

For a quiet Wednesday, this will do me just fine... I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that football was the over all winner at the end of the day...

Right...

Eagles of Death Metal TONIGHT!

Well look at that why don't ya? Time has a funny way of, I dunno, 'ticking over' as they say. You know when you book a ticket to something so far in the future that you kinda forget about it until the date falls upon you like a piano out of the sky? Well, today wasn't as much of a head fuck has my Chris Cornell experience but nonetheless... Edge got me a ticket for tonight at the Forum in Kentish Town, it's gonna be epic!



- Jesse "The Devil" Hughes -

Just to give you a little glimpse as to how awesome these guys are - earlier this year they booked a gig in London that was strictly Ladies ONLY! and it sold out in seconds... That, my friends, is how you do it!

It's gonna be Edge, Manatee and Yours Truly rocking out in K Town tonight, with pre drinks with The Voice in Camden to start... Alright!

Ill let you know how it all pans out - as I usually do after events such as these... I never leave my minions in the dark, unless I'm taking you to Pleasure Town...



-Cock Rock piquing (that's right, I meant THAT!) -

kisses ***

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Parlez Vous Freebie?

Classic, I'm so happy I didn't book my french lessons at the beginning of the month, not like I can shell out £400 on any given day can I?... This is how it went down:

The MD: Mike, I'm sending around a list of courses that are available for you all to attend for 'personal development' this year and I want you to pick 3 that you would be interested in and a couple of back up courses in case of unavailability...

No problem I thought, probably the usual Excel/Word fodder. So, sleepily (if that isn't a word it should be because that's my general disposition anytime before lunch) I flipped through the well constructed PowerPoint presentation (which made me more sleep-il-y). Everything from Time Management, to Conflict Resolution and even the marvelous Assertiveness in the Workplace which really piqued my interested....in sleep. All of these mind numbingly boring courses all lasted a day and cost around £500 for the show - no bother it's on the parent company, bring it on. So I ticked Intermediate, Advanced and Macros Excel... yippee... THEN, Business French appeared before my eyes! Bring it on! I finally woke up! 15 sessions at a cost of £1650 - Shit I thought, that would never fly with management. Bugger it I said to myself, Ill put it down...

25 minutes later...

The MD: Mike, please come to my office...

I tipped toed over to the glass box that is the MD's control station, preparing myself to defend my apparent smugness at such a request - my apologies we're well constructed by now...

Me: You wanted to see me?
MD: Mike, why did you include Advanced and Macros Excel in your first choices?
Me: Umm.... (thinking this was a trick question)
MD: You see, what if Intermediate is booked out, then both those options are out. So why not just have those as back up and we will move the 'Time Management' (I included that as a back up, because I was bored with the whole process by the end of it all) up into the first choice, ok?
Me: Sure that's cool, but I need 3 don't I?
MD: Yeah, with the French in there that's 3...
Me: Really, I thought that would be a bit expensive?
MD: Nah, that's not a problem (shaking his head dismissively)...
Me: Great thanks! (I wanted to kiss him!)

So, to recap... I just saved £400 AND got signed up to a course 4 times more indepth and expensive and relevant to finally moving to Paris! It's all working out minions, it's all working out!!!

Office drinks I can't miss now:)

Have a nice evening, love ya

***

Monday, 6 April 2009

"It's For Me", according to Being Brazen

My good friend in blogdom, Being Brazen, puts up little questionaires every other week for us stalkers to answer- this morning she has asked me personally to post retorts - how can I refuse such a naughty little minx?

2: Song of the moment: "Mogwai Fear Satan" by Mogwai
3. Drink of the moment: Nescafe Golden Blend
4: Currently I spend too much time: trying to install Wordpress into MUDISLANDMIKE.COM - it's supposed to be easy!
5: Word of the Week: "Transcend" I'm trying I'm trying!
6: Currently annoyed by: Padraig Harrington's Wilson Staff advert - probably the most unmarketable sportsman alive...
7: Currently Reading: "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath - I know I know it's for sad little lesbians but I want to find out what all the fuss is about...
8: Last Movie I watched: "New York Minute" - see my review
9: Currently lusting after: The Rock Werchter line up - which Manatee and I are hitting in July! Belgium, and us, will never be the same...

There you go BB, you saucy little thing, I always do what I'm told no?

That's right, give me another order, instruct me!

PS: What's our 'safe' word again?

kisses ***

Saturday, 4 April 2009

Facebook Compliant...

Oh would you look at that! MudIsland Mike just keeps expanding, the empire just keeps growing and growing... Why don't you do yourself a favour and add me as your 'friend' - you never know what fringe benefits could result in that simple little click of a mouse... Go on, you know you want to...

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Health Update: Flu is worse, hence all the expansion into the online universe - coz I got nothing better to do...

Won't you put the kettle on, my hot water bottle needs changing?